12. all i kno….. – vect كلمات اغنية

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12. all i kno…..

let me tell y’all a little story…..of how it all began

started in the summer of 1995, pops re*married 2 someone i despised
i tried to make everything great or all right then peaked the solution of suicide
fought it off every time it came
i was the one the finger pointed at for the blame
tried to take it couldn’t break it felt completely naked
sh*t kеpt changin’ no matter if i forsaked it
pushed & bulliеd in & outta school
i never defended myself i felt like sucha fool
looked down upon no one had my back
defense i lacked every day from all directions i got smacked
then moms always berated & hated
screamed at whenever she got bombed or faded
screamed at by everyone & always provoked
laughed at me ’cause i was just a joke

all i kno is pain
all i feel is rage
how can i escape?
when i all i hold is pain?
all i kno is pain
i can’t get away
nothing more to gain
all i kno is pain
my world demolished by 2 new comers
can’t say i lost him but i never knew my brother
when those 2 moved in they took my life away
treated me like garbage & i couldn’t find a way
moving right into more it fallowed with my friend’s deaths
god please help me end this
my own family didn’t care nor understand
they had no clue about this pain in another man
portals of delusions causing extra confusion mind is fusing with abusing myself only music helps
i put faith in god but he wasn’t there
there was only me the clouds & thin air
i was the sk8pegoat no matter where the h*ll i was
constantly challenged kept losing my balance
8 years & more betrayed by everyone
pops sometimes forgot he even had a son
if i could shut this down i would luv nothing more
but i can’t get away can’t heal or cover these sores
sucks when the only 1 that gets you is you
swarmed with attitude’s when you express your best gratitude
even when ya do what ya have to do & have to move
with guilt trips & arrogance i’ve had it dude
having ongoing painful dreams it seems
someone’s pushin’ till i die with my last fatal scream

god i hurt so much i can hardly cry anymore
i’m in a hate ocean i ain’t braggin’ ain’t boastin’
the ache falls over me an illness i can’t rid
feel me on my plague i hope you’re understanding this
my stories aren’t a sweet taste they’re sugar*free
the sh*t i faced i wish you all coulda seen
i don’t know why i proceed guess i’ma fighter
don’t understand it my days never gain brighter
can’t trust a soul that’s why i roam alone
every time i let’ em close i had thrown control
so hard but i gotta just hold my own
building vigilance when my girls & bro’s turn foes
all the times of agony i tried to keep avoidin’
then i slowly mutated from all the poison
but it happens still to this very day
some of it decreased but all i kno is pain

- vect كلمات اغنية